Back Down to Seattle We Go

We had a wonderful weekend. I went down to Seattle for a neat little Stampin' Up! conference. It was a great time and just a chance to think about something else. I got really inspired to make some beautiful cards and of course sell stamps! I just needed the distraction. Michael had the girls the entire day! I think they did just fine.

On Sunday morning we went to church and, as you can read from Jill's dear entry in the guestbook, Kelby had a wonderful time. She loves children's church. We have wonderful support from our church family.

Sadly, after just one day with our dear little mice, I had to pack them up on Sunday afternoon and take them back to the store. I was so sad to see them go, but I was allergic to them. It was either the mice or their bedding that got to me. Being in the same room as their cage made my throat start to get tight. Seeing how much joy those little mice gave to Kelby made it really hard to take them back...but we might start seriously thinking about getting a dog. I just think it would be fun for her to have a pet. I would get a kitty, but I am allergic to them. I know I'm not allergic to dogs though, so that will have to be it...assuming we can find one that isn't too wild.

Last week was a little hard on me and I just have to share with you my own little revelation. Hearing about Kelby's recurrence may have made many of you sad, as it did me, but maybe this will help you to let yourself feel happy again. I was getting really down last week. This was something more than just the cancer being back that made me feel so down. My heart just felt so heavy. When I thought the cancer might be back, I had several days that I was just very sad. The strange thing was when we found out that the cancer had for sure returned, I felt an amazing bubble of peace around me. I didn't cry. I was strong, but that was only from God. Oddly, I even felt bad that I wasn't more sad than I was. I am Kelby's mommy; I should be devastated. But last week, as I wore down a bit, I did begin to feel the heavy sadness. I was making myself stay in the place that was sad. It is, after all, my duty to be sad, right? What made me realize that this was an unhealthy place to be? I'm not sure where or when it came to me, but I am sure it was the Lord lifting me up. I remembered the verse that says, "Be joyful always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thess. 5:16-18) It is okay for me to still be happy. In fact, it is the best thing for me and my family...and all of you as well. I think that I have even been afraid to pray for Kelby's healing...fearing that it might not be God's plan for Kelby. But now I see that I need to continue to pray for Kelby as Jesus prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." It is okay...not to mention...necessary, for me to see the joy in each moment and to be thankful for all that is good in each and everyday. There is something to be thankful for in every circumstance.

Since I was in high school I have had a life-statement that I call my "Smile on Your Heart Theory." I remember renewing my devotion to God in those difficult teenage years when I realized that I will always have something to be happy about in Jesus. Jesus died for me and saved me...and no matter what else happens in this life, I will always have the hope in heaven to give me the "Smile On My Heart." I recognized even then that I wouldn't always have a smile on my face...because times can be hard...but I will always have the smile on my heart to return to for refreshing. Now, is it just a coincidence that my darling Kelby is fully in love with any "Happy Face" she sees? I really don't think so. Thank you Lord for the reminder we have in every happy face we see (and we see a lot in this household) that we can be joyful in You in every situation. So, you all have permission to still be joyful in every moment with us as we watch Kelby. We don't know what is ahead, but none of us really does. God Bless.

PS. Thank you for being my therapy. Writing here helps me so much. I am thankful that so many people love us and check in on our family. It means the world to me...and it is one more thing that gives me a smile on my face! Love to you all.