A New Port

Today Kelby and I are at Children's getting her new port. She is very brave. The only thing that bothers her is having to put on a hospital gown instead of her own clothes. Today they let her not change, so she was happier. She has learned how to whistle and wants to show everyone how she does it. Also. She can't get enough bubbles it seems. She'll while away hours just blowing and catching bubbles. Good thing I brought some today. It always involves a lot of waiting when we come down here.

We are excited because my mom, Kelbys Gramma DeeDee, is coming tomorrow. We'll be picking her up at the airport after Kelby's radiation treatment on Wednesday. The distraction will be fun.

Kelby's arm didn't seem to get worse over the weekend. She only needed her medication at night. We didn't do too much this weekend except do a little shopping and movie watching. Yesterday I put up the tent in the backyard for the girls. They had fun pretending to sleep in there.

Kelby has been the best big sister lately. She always brings stickers home for Tegan and saves the last cookies for her. Cookies!! Can you believe she wants to share cookies? I said, "Here Hun, you can have the last cookie." She said, ''No way! That one's for Tegan." Tegan doesn't understand anything except that Kelby is very sick and her arm hurts. Tegan has been enjoying hanging out with Gramma Debbie though! I miss those other two girls when I'm gone, but I don't worry about them because they are in good hands.

For awhile there I was feeling pretty mopey..a little blah...numb. I felt like everyone should know that my daughter has terminal cancer and feel sorry for me. But...most people we come across don't know and so I had to feel sorry...for myself. Well, forget it. I don't have time to be sad and feel sorry for myself. One of my favorite quotes from my high school years is: ''Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you do with it." Before I can ejoy every minute, I have to change my attitude. Funny thing is that this all hit me the other day when I was shopping by myself at Wal-Mart. I was in a good mood and was nice to people. I forgot to feel sorry for myself and it felt good. The emotions are a rollercoaster, but I haven't been letting myself feel anything. Instead now I want to let myself feel happy. That way, I figure that I can feel sad when I need to...but I don't need to yet.