Kelby's Cancer is Back

Although Kelby had scans in February that came back clear, we found out last night that her cancer is back and has spread to her upper right arm. She had stopped using that arm much this last week, so I took her into the doctor yesterday. They took an x-ray and the radiologist thinks that the boney changes to that bone are metastatic neuroblastoma. There is what he called a "pathological" fracture due to the weakness of the bone. The amazing thing is that she isn't in much pain with it at all. She still uses her arm except for certain directions...she just chooses not to move it much. They have her in a sling. Today we are going down to Children's hospital to see what we will be able to do for her.

Right now I am either in shock or feeling a great sense of God's peace. Perhaps shock is God's peace...His special mechanism to help us deal with things. So, I'm handling things okay right now. It is something that we suspected would happen...although we were just getting used to the idea of having her around for a very long time. We are truly thankful for these last two full YEARS of almost perfect health and happiness. She has lived like a normal preschooler and has been thoroughly happy.

The thing that brings me the most peace is knowing that there are always reasons for God to let us go through something like this. He knows the bigger picture and has a plan. I trust that plan more than I trust my own.

I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine, He said ...
For you to love the while she lives ... and mourn for when she's dead.
It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two and three,
But will you, till I call her back, take care of her for me?

She'll bring her charms to gladden you. And shall her stay be brief,
You'll have her lovely memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise she will stay, since all from Earth return.
But there are lessons, taught down there, I want this child to learn.

I've looked the wide world over in search for teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes, I have selected you.
Now ... will you give her all your love ... nor think the labor in vain?
Nor ... hate me when I come to call ... to take her back again?

I fancied that I heard you say ... Dear Lord, it will be done!
For all the joy Your Child shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter her with tenderness. We'll love her while we may,
And for the happiness we've known ... forever grateful stay.

But shall the angels call for her much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes ... and try to understand.
~Edgar Guest